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I'm a bit baffled how they deal with upstream bugs with this mentality

Probably the same way they deal with support: refer users upstream [1].

[1] https://daniel.haxx.se/blog/2021/11/18/free-apple-support/

There's the classic `tail -f` bug where they didnt upstream the fix, but on their own open source release have an #ifdef APPLE or something to that effect.

Link to Bryan Cantrill's humerus talk. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm1GJMp0QN4#t=41m18s

thanks for the link! that was fantastic

A bit late with this reply, but the answer is: Make patches internally, to work around the problematic areas. Often done to avoid the legal necessity to contribute it back upstream. For example, hook code at runtime to jump out to Apple specific changes that are now not part of the OSS codebase directly.