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Comment by encryptluks2 | Hacker News Reader

First, if you do the work never resign simply because someone made you feel like your best wasn't good enough. Second, if you are on the verge of resigning or breaking down due to the culture then you should request some time off to seek out counseling. People may die if something doesn't work but it doesn't sound like the company was paying you like it was critical to human life. Therefore, if anyone screwed up it was management and sales for not demanding more money and more time.

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> Second, if you are on the verge of resigning or breaking down due to the culture then you should request some time off to seek out counseling.

In such situation, it is fairly good guess that counseling will teach you to value yourself, set boundaries and leave culture that is abusing you.

> counseling will teach you to [...] leave

Valuing yourself and setting boundaries will prevent this precise outcome in all but the most extreme cases (where you probably need to do more than just leave, because if the abuse is that extreme it becomes criminal).

You can set boundaries all you want, some people will still stomp all over said boundaries anyways - either because they do not care, or because they cannot help themselves, or think they're in the right for doing so - and those people are often well versed in doing so without running afoul of the law, HR, or your coworkers. Being merely persistently unpleasant to be around is not a crime.

Especially when setting boundaries with those who hold power over you, often the most leverage you have is a BATNA and the ability to leave for greener pastures, and the willingness to exercise said ability should they choose to call your "bluff".

I won't say leaving will necessairly be your first tool, but it'll certainly be an important one, and one that might be worth using well before things get to criminally extreme cases.

Indeed. Quitting is, for most places, a pretty final boundary. The ones that go after you after you quit are something else.

If you get fired, you can apply for unemployment. A company that is going to fire you for setting boundaries or requesting time off due to toxic culture is the same type that will bad mouth you if you resign.

These companies and groups will attempt to destroy your reputation no matter what if you are not properly submissive. Whether they fire you or you resign. Or even when you stay with them.

Shit, i'd say - RUN AWAY SCREAMING if you ever find yourself in such a position.

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