I sincerely hope you get Google to change their ways, but personally, this coming around again was the motivation I needed to stop using Chrome on Android, and I hope I'm not the only one.
All that said, it's hard to make Google change things, and it's relatively easy to run a static http(s) server that redirects everything to www and maybe serves some HSTS headers. Assuming your traffic is small, you can do this on the smallest vm on any cloud VPS. Or probably on some serverless platform, too.
Edit to add, you can always redirect www to vvvvvv and I think Chrome would show that, and as you noted, Safari likely would too.
Maybe only redirect to v's if the User Agent is Chrome/Safari.