Teal Swan has a brilliant video on the zero sum game mindset.
The path my life has lead me through has gotten to the amount of effort to find and establish that relationship as part of courtship isn't worth it / required too much. Trying to find that relationship in SV in the late 90s through 00s when my life was most flexible lead to some substantial disappointments.
At this point, I'm not going to be looking for a woman in her 40s or 50s to try to settle down with - it just doesn't make sense. I don't have a desire to pursue the financial and time obligations of courtship.
In the frame of "win lose", finding the right person is win-win. However, trying and not finding someone enough times leaves one rather averse to trying again. One could try to attribute this to learned helplessness. Trying again isn't enjoyable / rewarding.
As it is, I am reasonably happy, content, and successful by myself. I have the resources and time to pursue what interests me to what I feel is a greater amount than if I was in a partnered relationship.