First, having friend, as in favorite person you spend more time with and prioritize, was literally against the rules. You are not supposed to do that. Second, evening was not free recreation time. You eat dinner, you pray, you have chores, you study etc.
You read some books but you want to argue with someone who literally socialized with a monk? How about this: I was a monk. What you're saying is wrong. You do get evenings off at times. Yes, there are some orders that are very strict and isolated, but there are also mendicant and missionary orders.
I know it's tempting to feel we are smart thus we can speak to things of which we have only read, but (and I'm assuming you're in software development because you're here) if a consultant with no actual experience came along and told you how to do your job because "these are best practices", wouldn't you be a bit skeptical?
This was a Christian monastery, but not Catholic.
What you are saying is that cloistered somehow don't count. Maybe you was in freest order there is, but the rest of them count too.
You also argue absurdly aggressive and arrogant way for a monk.
You are not the only ex-monk out there and in fact, ex-monks or those who gave that up during formation do talk about these rules.