I ran into this with Red Alert as well- I mostly played single-player, and I didn't play the "optimal" way. I would design a nice-looking base, and try to design a mix of units that seemed fun. The few times I played against other players, I would get destroyed. There are other games that I've played more competitively, and it can be fun too, but realising what my goal is (fun single-player experience v. competition v. enjoying time with friends, etc.) helps me play that game better.