It's actually true if you interpret it as an abusive family. Boundaries aren't respected, always put company's interest above yours, if there's a culture problem (say harassment) it's actually the victim's problem, etc.

A family that will kick you out if it makes them more money.

relevant bit from Tolstoy "...every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"

Oh god I forgot how much that bullshit irritated me...

One team (your job is whatever we say it is)

You are an owner (we gave you fuck-all stock and lied that we're all gonna be millionaires when this IPOs)

Radical candour (prepare to be dressed down publicly, because all the best leaders do that: Besos, Jobs, Trump)

It's even better when they get the first letter from each of these little snippets of company philosophy and turn them into a word that then gets printed on swag baseball caps and t-shirts, and is roared by the cocaine fuelled CEO at the end of every weekly allhands.