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I liked seeing this concept

"as government loses control of its monopoly on violence."

but I can't articulate why...

Maybe something to do with a comparison to organized crime as a competition to a (possibly separately corrupt) government?

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Many definitions of the word state include having monopoly on violence as a necessary (and sometimes also sufficient). A state loosing its monopoly on violence would—by definition—mean that the state has collapsed.

Thanks.

That certainly makes sense. The existence of organized crime does represent some failing of the state towards collapse.

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