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Comment by stagger87 | Hacker News Reader

> Narcissism and self-centeredness are so normalized that the kind of man I am doesn't really belong. I think there are many men and women like I am who simply aren't attracted to the opposite sex in the form that they tend to take in modern civilization.

> On top of not being appealed by emotionally immature partners (with no useful skills), why would I want to bring a child into a world where their way of life is going to radically shift several times in their lifetime?

Consider therapy. Outside of your angsty high school years, these sort of thoughts are not healthy. Unless you're purposely going out of your way to inspire melancholy, you sound depressed.

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I'll consider it, but I find your perspective peculiar (perhaps insensitive) in that if someone has concerns about the future of children and humanity then it seems you think there must be something broken about that person. It's fairly presumptuous for you to think you can psychoanalyze me to that extent via text.

I have things to be sad about, and I've had depression in the past, but I don't think I qualify for depression. People are quick to pathologize the things that I talk about, but the reality is I don't think about those things in day to day life. I've largely moved on with my life and have plenty of good things to live for.

Yes, I find a lot about the state of humanity to be dissatisfying. And there are certainly people far more distinguished than I am whom share some of that dissatisfaction. Does it really make sense to conclude that we are all simply depressed? In that case, you might as well tell people they're pollyannas for having optimism.

> in that if someone has concerns about the future of children and humanity then it seems you think there must be something broken about that person.

People throughout history have had these thoughts. There is nothing wrong with having them. I personally think it becomes an issue when they negatively affect your life. It sounds like these thoughts/concerns have drastically shaped your life. They don't have to.

In addition, the majority of your statements come off as borderline /r/redpill. Something to be aware of. Again, nothing wrong with having these types of thoughts. If you find they are having a negative impact on your life, such as reduced romantic relationships, reduced involvement in society, abandoning the idea of having children (in which you are presumably interested), that's not healthy.

Sometimes the truth has a negative impact on people. We just have to live with it.

Is it wrong? Look at things like radical feminism or men going their own way, seems like decent sections of both genders are starting to outright hate and swear off of each other even when they are heterosexual. And it's undeniable that any child born today will have to contend with all seeing techno spying governments with automated drone armies and live through whatever climate change has in store for the next 100 years. Just sea level change alone means massive city migrations around the world.

This is the kind of thing that made me realize I have no interest in having kids. I don't want them to live in the world as it is today, and even less so the future to come. I'd rather save my resources for myself and my existing loved ones.

I'm in awe at how my ancestors managed to survive every war, plague, famine, and natural disaster on Earth. And, that my non human ancestors survived every single mass extinction.

I look at the difficulties of my own pleasant life and feel a little ashamed, to be honest. My ancestors managed to survive and reproduce through ALL OF THAT, and I can't because of some social anxiety? It's a little sobering, for me at least.

To be fair, it's a complicated issue. Maybe not every single one of your ancestors was suffering; as far as we know maybe you had nobility 3000 years ago who lived like gods. Similarly, perhaps you're living through things that they would find it incredibly difficult to go through. Lastly, to this point

> My ancestors managed to survive and reproduce through ALL OF THAT, and I can't

The bar is very low. All you know is that your ancestors all lived long enough to reproduce, and then reproduced. It's not difficult to pass that bar today with means that were available back then: alcohol, patience, effort, luck for example (and that even leaves out the darker ways that reproduction happens, which happens more than people like to talk about).

If it's something you want (and related to a base instinct like eating and using the bathroom), it's doable. Join a church or other such community and you may even find people going out of their way to help you reproduce.

Suffering is also a weird thing. If we were able to ask our distant ancestors whether they were suffering, they would probably give us a blank stare. Perhaps in not all cases, but much of what humans normally had to go through is what a modern human would consider suffering. That's not to say they didn't suffer by our standard, but perhaps they didn't see it that way. Someday future humans may wonder how we made it through all the "suffering" we go through now because of the consequences of technology, but with our frame of reference this is the best of times. It's hard to imagine how our ancestors were able to deal with their turmoil, but that viewpoint only makes sense from a modern one.

Then your kids won't have a chance to make it better.

I'm all for lessening the load of the population on the planet...I see that happening now. But I don't think it means not ever having kids.

The boomers had Vietnam. (The US boomers: but it wasn't great times in Bangladesh, Indonesia, Vietnam, or a bunch of other places.) Their parents had WW II; the grandparents had WW I, the Spanish flu, and Great Depression.

I am old and married, but from what I see of the young, the sexes seem to get along pretty well.

This is a bad-faith comment. "Consider therapy" is not a constructive response to those points

Nice way of gaslighting him into thinking he's insane

You don't need to be insane to go to therapy.

People dont need to go into therapy if they dont agree with your worldview.

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