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Comment by sircastor | Hacker News Reader

> So where I am from or where I live don't think will make any difference.

One of the things that I’ve learned about talking to other people about a problem is that they can offer solutions that haven’t occurred to you. It’s easy to think you understand the whole problem. After all, you’ve been living it! But unless you’re an expert in the field (and in this particular case that would probably be an attorney) keep an open mind about what may or may not be possible.

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> It’s easy to think you understand the whole problem.

You don't think I understand what's happening to me? Well, I do. I know exactly the problem. I've been looking for a solution for years. I think it's easy to judge people when they are vulnerable.

When I read these comments I get the feeling you're not actually open to suggestions and less inclined to offer any help. Your situation might be tough but everyone here is offering their advice free of charge so it would help to stay open minded.

Somehow I find myself, yet again in the land of judgment. Once, I don't understand my situation, then I am being told I am not being open-minded enough. Well, my friend, I am actually here, posting for suggestions and I don't want this conversation shift to be a legal debate or to remind me that the advice is free of charge.

Perhaps I could have worded my answer differently. No one here is judging you. You asked for help, we’re trying to order it.

What I mean to say is that when we’re struggling, or limited by our situation we can become myopic, and we don’t see our whole situation for what it is. We start looking for solutions to the symptoms we’re experiencing rather than that problem itself.

If you’ve been looking for the solution for years, maybe you’re looking at the wrong problem.

Agreed. I am not claiming that I am on the right path. I just put so much information and hid who I am. so I feel if mentioned more, I'll be recognized and don't want that to happen. That's it, there's no other reason that prevents me from mentioning more.

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