Ask HN: The dark side of “cool” companies?

I have been looking for a job (as a software engineer) in the last weeks and almost all the companies out there try to differentiate from others by highlighting their "culture" (some call them their "principles", and others call it "how we work"). This is all fine, until you actually read what their "culture" is about. I'll post a summary here of what I have found on the internet:

- "We get shit done and move fast! Once you get used to our pace, you won't want to go back! Sometimes we break things. No problem! We take ownership, fix things, and move on". How I read it: we care little about well-crafted software because we are in a rush; we want to push features live faster than our competitors.

- "We are not the traditional 9 to 5. We own our products and if they break anytime we are there to help because we care about our customers". How I read it: goodbye work-life balance.

- "Unlimited vacation". How I read it: you are taking away my N days of vacation given by law.

- "We are all owners. You build it, you ship it, you maintain it". How I read it: you take extra responsibility (and need to know ton more of skills besides the regular ones) but we pay you the same, you get no bonus or anything if the company goes well. I want to work as a "Senior Software Engineer" not as a "Senior Owner Software Engineer".

- "We love hackathons!". How I read it: I will have to work on something I don't really care about from Friday to Saturday twice a year, eating pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

And much more similar stuff. These companies publish all of the above on their websites. They think they are cool because they offer free fruits and drinks and you can play videogames after working hours and they have cool pets, and they organize parties... I just really don't get how all these minutiae can compete with the horrors listed above. I just want a normal job: I'll do my best 9-5, I'll be honest and bring good practices while sharping my skills as much as I can. Is my mentality outdated already? If so, man, this is so sad.