> I managed to get logged in to the SDF MetaArray, open mutt and send an email. Within minutes, the fire brigade had been called and were on their way to rescue me.

All I can think of when I read this is Maurice Moss (Richard Ayoade) from the IT Crowd sending an email about a fire in the office.

Edit: Here is the clip for those who haven't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EBfxjSFAxQ (Here is it queued up to the most relevant bit: https://youtu.be/1EBfxjSFAxQ?t=110)