Comment by dkersten | Hacker News Reader

Comment by dkersten | Hacker News Reader

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Reminds me of this TED talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs "Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong", where he asserts that addiction isn't caused by the things we typically correlate with it. I was going to try to summarize, but I don't think I can do it justice. Its not long.

> I think people drink and drug for a reason. We just mostly don't bother to try to figure out what the reason is for this specific person

Absolutely. This is totally in line with what that guy says in the video too.

One thing he says: "The opposite of addiction is connection."

I know that personally, when I have problems that I struggle with and don't feel like anyone in my life can help me with or talk to about them (sadly has happened once or twice in my life), I have a tendency to binge, with anything that provides a brief escape, be it alcohol, drugs, video games, TV series', chocolate. Of course, its never been too bad, severe or long lasting for me, so it hasn't been too much of a problem and I wouldn't claim it comes close to what an alcoholic or heroin addict goes through, but I can at least see how someone might slip into such things, as a distraction from reality. And its usually coupled with a feeling of isolation and loneliness, feeling like you're alone with problems you don't know how to solve. So you hide from them instead. That's the impression I got after thinking about my past situations at least.

I used to like that video but it hasn’t aged well. The whole opioid epidemic showed how you can make addicts out of lots of people through getting them physically addicted.

Do we know that people affected by the opioid epidemic are not otherwise affected too? For example, given the past experiences that I mentioned previously, I could see how if I had been on opioids at the time, that I could have perhaps become addicted. In general, we're living in a more technologically connected but physically and mentally disconnected lonelier world, I remember reading something here on HN not that long ago about this, it doesn't at all surprise me that many otherwise normal seeming people would be prone to addiction. Most of us don't show our struggles publicly, but we still fight with them. More of us are damaged in some way than we like to admit, we see it often where some person who seemed like they had it together suddenly does something seemingly out of character (like suicide).

Having said that, I don't think its completely contradictory to the video that some level of purely physical addiction can exist too, (I know he doesn't say it, though), just that in the majority of cases there's perhaps a deeper reason. More people on opioids obviously makes a smaller percentage more visible.

But at the end of the day, I'm only speculating either way, I don't know, I'm not a doctor, pharmacist, chemist, psychologist or anyone else who might know, so... grain of salt and all that.

> One thing he says: "The opposite of addiction is connection."

Makes a lot of sense - I once read that a defining parameter to determine addiction is how it affects relationships. Addicted people often fight and eschew relationship in favour of their addiction. I am reminded of this often when I see kids fight with their parents about how much time the spend on their phones / tablets / computers instead of doing other activities.

"I am reminded of this often when I see kids fight with their parents about how much time the spend on their phones / tablets / computers instead of doing other activities."

To be fair, some parents arent worth connecting with. I'm really happy for you if this isn't your personal experience.

Parental upbringing does obviously affect one's personality, and it is fair to say many addicts do come from dysfunctional families - https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/debunkingaddiction/2020/7... ...

Most families are dysfunctional, to a greater or lesser extent. So many people come from dysfunctional families.

Sure; if the custom in your family when faced with problems is to drink or drug, then it won't be surprising if you take the same approach.

My limited experience of people from flawlessly functional families is that they tend to be - um - boring. I find people's flaws and weaknesses make them more attractive and interesting. YMMV.

I don't necessarily disagree but do you believe most people grow up in a dysfunctional family as outlined in the linked article as you stated?

Like having at least one parent with some issue that leaves the child with trauma? This is most people's experience?

That's interesting and now that you mention it, yeah, that totally makes sense.

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