>Of all the parts of your body, be most vigilant over your index finger, for it is blame-thirsty. A pointed finger is a victim’s logo — the opposite of the V-sign and a synonym for surrender.
This was powerful to me.
This was powerful to me.
After all, a victim status is not without its sweetness. It commands compassion, confers distinction, and whole nations and continents bask in the murk of mental discounts advertised as the victim’s conscience — but try to resist it. However abundant and irrefutable is the evidence that you are on the losing side, negate it as long as you have your wits about you, as long as your lips can utter “No…”
On the whole, try to respect life not only for its amenities but for its hardships, too. They are a part of the game, and what’s good about a hardship is that it is not a deception."
This resonates with me-- it's something I have always held as a core belief. I made an appointment to be where I am today-- good or bad. The moment I blame my situation on someone or something I cede control of the situation.
At the same time: for the victims themselves, their best chance of overcoming their circumstance is often to not think about it that way.
It's one of those tricky cases where a realistic mindset is not a useful mindset. You have to hold reality, and set it aside, and suspend your disbelief. It's hard to do that, so instead different people fully buy into one reality or the other and then get into conflict over the cognitive dissonance.
Longer term, with recovery focusing on taking back agency the conversation does change to a "you were a party to your own depression, own it. be mindful etc"
But it's a pretty big view change.
But it is oh so easy to do that; to his point, there is a sweetness to it; I find I have to remind myself of the idea of ownership and personal responsibility all the time... it's so easy to end up blaming something or someone else.