> Even though we normally think of grief in the context of the death of a loved one, a broadly similar reaction can occur when a close relationship is ended through separation or when a person is forced to give up some aspect of life deemed to be important. When our family business died, my father exhibited a number of worrying emotions. There were numbness and disbelief that this business he had created 20-odd years ago was no longer ‘alive.’ There was some anger toward the economy, competitors, and debtors. A stronger emotion than anger was that of guilt and self-blame: he felt guilty that he had caused the failure of the business, that it could no longer be passed on to my brother, and that, as a result, he had failed not only as a businessperson, but also as a father. These feelings caused him distress and anxiety. He felt the situation was hopeless and became withdrawn and, at times, depressed.

This experience is eerily similar to the failure of a business of a family member. People who have built their business over decades will go to irrational lengths to save it, even when it would be prudent to wind it up and preserve your existing wealth, and mental and physical well-being. When traditional creditors refuse to lend more, I have seen homes getting mortgaged, willingness to take on high-interest loans from dubious people and a belief that things can be fixed if they can just have a little more money and time.

I think the attachment, and subsequent grief from failure, with business built over years and decades with little outside capital is significantly more than venture-backed businesses where entrepreneurs can generally share the fruits and failure with other investors/backers.