I have ADHD. It basically means I can't sustain effort towards a goal. During high school and college I had a lot of supervision and oversight. Without teachers and supervisors constantly nudging me in the right direction everyday I'm useless. Multiple failed jobs, startups, freelancing. Everything is ok for the first few weeks but when the novelty wears off it's impossible to maintain interest. No interest means no concentration. I know exactly what I need to do and I cannot do it.

The other side of ADHD is emotional disregulation. I always assumed I was experiencing normal emotions, maybe slightly on the sensitive side. Turns out these feelings are not normal. A minor criticism/correction at work can have me in tears for days. A friend makes a friendly comment about something I did and I'm holding back tears making plans to get out of the situation. Someone says something vaguely patronising and I'm already boiling over.

I've tried drugs. I've tried exercise. I've tried supplements. I've read various books on the topic. Nothing helps.

Things didn't seem so bad in my 20's. I figured I would just grow out of it or I was struggling to find the right job. Now I realize the problem is me. Into my 30's now. The practical problems are life are really starting to worry me. How will I ever have a family? How will I ever buy a house? Retirement? That's impossible.