Ask HN: What Are Your Problems? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What Are Your Problems?

20 pointsumrashrf28 comments

Last time I asked this was in the year of 2013 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6559477

A lot has changed since then. For example, I have lost some hair, have changed continents and still figuring out what to do with my life.

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I don't have enough time to switch jobs (learn new tech, put in extra hours, etc). I don't have enough money to switch jobs and still have a shot at retiring some day. My wife doesn't listen to me about anything (like not letting our toddler play in a garage full of dangerous stuff... and then gets mad at me). My wife and kid have medical issues. I don't have enough time to do many of the things I would like to do (will get even worse when WFH ends). I'm getting a bad review at work because I'm slow.

Basically, at work, at home - my whole life is a mess.

At least you do have a home with garage. I still rent, and being a dad, like you, I have literally no time at all. So you are in much better position than others, maybe that helps you a bit :)

I know you probably don't look for advice but the easiest thing you can do if you have a few weeks left is to browse on LinkedIn and connect with recruiters who hire for positions you are interested in. I love coding in python, two years ago I decided I need to connect with one recruiter a day who advertises interesting job offers. Now I have plenty job offers every week without posting my profile as actively searching for job.

- Getting myself to do stuff. I couldn't get diagnosed with ADHD because I only started experiencing symptoms in adulthood.

- Getting over messing up my education. Had an opportunity to go to a top university and instead I went to a pretty mediocre place and study something weird for the sake of "following my passion" or something of that sort. I can't help but think that I wasted some great opportunities and this isn't really something that I can fix now.

- Having tattoos that I don't like.

The last two are basically trying to get over / live with the dumb things that 18-20 year-old me did.

I have ADHD. It basically means I can't sustain effort towards a goal. During high school and college I had a lot of supervision and oversight. Without teachers and supervisors constantly nudging me in the right direction everyday I'm useless. Multiple failed jobs, startups, freelancing. Everything is ok for the first few weeks but when the novelty wears off it's impossible to maintain interest. No interest means no concentration. I know exactly what I need to do and I cannot do it.

The other side of ADHD is emotional disregulation. I always assumed I was experiencing normal emotions, maybe slightly on the sensitive side. Turns out these feelings are not normal. A minor criticism/correction at work can have me in tears for days. A friend makes a friendly comment about something I did and I'm holding back tears making plans to get out of the situation. Someone says something vaguely patronising and I'm already boiling over.

I've tried drugs. I've tried exercise. I've tried supplements. I've read various books on the topic. Nothing helps.

Things didn't seem so bad in my 20's. I figured I would just grow out of it or I was struggling to find the right job. Now I realize the problem is me. Into my 30's now. The practical problems are life are really starting to worry me. How will I ever have a family? How will I ever buy a house? Retirement? That's impossible.

I can't explain with words how similar this is to my life experience thus far! Granted, I've only been "fired" once due to a really poor fit, however the focus issue got incredibly worse with covid and WFH.

I can understand this and I could be at an early stage of it so I am trying my best to continue to do and finish what I start. No matter how small or big a task is or how short or long it takes.

Anxiety, mostly. It has gotten so bad that I woke up in the middle of the night and had to take a moment to remember what I was feeling so anxious about. Turns out it was - nothing. For perhaps the first time, I had nothing to be anxious about and I _still_ woke up with anxiety.

I'm fairly convinced it's either genetic or inherited behavior at this point. To be fair though, that level of conscientiousness is a real asset when it comes to programming.

Speaking from my experience - I had the exact problem. Quitting caffeine helped me a LOT. My heart rate went down and anxiety problems became almost non-existent.

If you have problems relaxing, please give Yoga Nidra a try - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLJu3wQA1Ko

Yoga worked wonders for my wife too. She also suffered from anxiety issues

I just don't have enough hours in the day.

I'm much more mature than when I tried to start a company 12 years ago, but now that I have kids and a mortgage, that's not a good idea.

It takes me longer to find a job. I fear that in 10-15 years it'll be hard to keep my income up.

"but now that I have kids and a mortgage, that's not a good idea."

I feel you.

"I fear that in 10-15 years it'll be hard to keep my income up."

My fear is that I will lose my job and won't be able to find anything that will pay all the bills and provide good medical coverage.

- Learning how to control my emotions better to become a better partner. - Working on having less of an ego, which goes back to to first item. - My hair is thinning a bit up front, which I never expected because baldness isn’t something I’ve seen in my family. - Focusing on how to be grateful for my good life instead of complaining about the little things. It can feel good to complain sometimes, but it’s important to appreciate one’s good fortune and focus on the things in life that deserve gratitude. - I need to have a more active lifestyle, as I am only in my 30s and already have elevated blood pressure even though I’m only approx. 25lbs overweight. - Control my ADHD symptoms better to improve my productivity at work. This relates to improving my lifestyle, as I hear exercise is a good tool for improving attention.

I don't know what to do about medical issues (exacerbated by stress and poor sleep) that interfere with working. If I stay at my job, maybe I can use the insurance to help deal with them. If I go to an early startup, that will increase stress temporarily, but maybe the equity gains will be enough to afford to retire. Or maybe I just need to leave software altogether because of the health issues associated with being at a desk all day.

Not exactly personal, but sourcing good leads is very important to me, and I don't know of any good sales automation pipeline to assist with this, nor any that are actually worth the price, as they all have comically expensive rates compared to how many contacts you get access to.

Time series data storage an analysis. I don’t see this as a solved problem… from elastic search to postgresql to custom solutions they all are painful because it’s so much data… need like a whole framework of edge case processing …

You say that including Datomic? If not, check it. It is a great piece of software.

Have you tried TimescaleDB? I also had quite good results with Redshift.

Yandex ClickHouse is also good one for this.

clickhouse.tech

Haven’t been able to secure a job through out my programming career . A good job

I drink too much

My stocks are not going up fast enough. It feels like a damn savings account.

not being able to take everyone in this thread to burning man and talking to them all night

The housing situation here is terrible and so fustrating.

https://www.electronjs.org/

Problem with projects made using this. They're too slow!

Isn't Visual Studio Code made with this? It's doing pretty good.

Global warming.

I can't get a job. Never been able to. But I can build an app and I made a website for a potential congressman. I don't know how to apply to jobs or even have a single clue as to how to get a job.

I don't know how to get past the rejection bot and privileged HR people who never had a struggle in their lives. This isn't projection. This is 10 years of observation.

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