> Is there a fluorine compound that will happily oxidize Teflon?
No. It can't be done. PTFE is fully oxidized (well, fluorinated).
> The point of my rambling is can it be conclusively shown in controlled laboratory experiments that these compounds are completely nonreactive with the human digestive tract?
I haven't looked for the study, but even if it hasn't been done, it's clear that fully fluorinated substances are not major health risks.
What so many "oh no, TEFLON!!1!" people don't understand is that PTFE really is as chemically harmless as the evil chemical companies say it is. The problem is that this stuff isn't entirely PTFE (or even PFA, which is close enough even if it's oxygen in some spots instead of fluorine). Fail to fluorinate one location on that PTFE molecule and you've left a reasonably reactive pocket that can start causing trouble. (You end up with an inert PTFE chain hung off of some other molecule, which will gum up the works.)
So... just fully fluorinate stuff, then? Unfortunately there's only one fully fluorinated molecule chain, and that's PTFE. Everything else, other than PTFE, is more reactive, and thus more toxic. (I guess there's also tetrafluoromethane, but that's gaseous.) And you need other things than PTFE: PTFE is chemically inert enough that it's difficult to mechanically bond to things. Other fluoropolymers are used to make bonding layers to help attach PTFE to substrates. These are what you should worry about in your cookware: they're intentionally more reactive!
The other wrinkle is that I mentioned that fluoropolymers are chemically inert, because they are. But they're not thermodynamically inert. Get them hot, and they decompose into things with more reactive sites, usually in an uncontrolled way that admits some pretty nasty byproducts. (See "MTV flares" for an example of how to harness this.) Thus, the fact that PTFE pans kill birds who are sensitive to these decomposition products is real, and you should never use PTFE at high heats.
Fluoropolymers are useful, good for many things, and often quite safe. But there are real dangers. Don't listen to the suits from the chemical company who insist that it's all safe, or the tinfoil hats who insist that it can never be safe. As with so many things, the truth is in between.