It's perfectly OK to have a completely separate Terraform project that just configures the DB initially (or even manually, I see lots of places running DB's that predate Terraform with immutable infrastructure for everything else), and applies minor non-destructive changes in the future. This way you get the benefits of IaC, but the DB plan doesn't participate with the rest of your infrastructure that IS ok to blow away and re-create at will.
BTW, Amazon RDS backups work the exact same way: Destroy the database and the backups are also destroyed. Therefore, same region automated RDS backups are fine for day-to-day, but in a true "DB goes poof" disaster you should expect that you WILL lose them too! You need cross-region, or even better, cross-account DB replication or snapshots to survive this.