>a book that tells you stuff like “remember people’s names” and “make them feel important,” which seems benign, but should only seem surprising to a child, and should not be something you have to unnaturally force your body to do.

there is much good in pointing out the scamminess of the self-help industry, but this is a good example of making exactly the sort of assumptions the author is railing against. Many basic life lessons that 'should be unsurprising' are extremely important for people who grew up in contexts of emotional neglect.