Comment by laurent92 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by laurent92 | Hacker News Reader

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Since lockdowns, I hate everybody. I just broke up with the idea that we are a society. No, we’re just insane people who are eating at other people’s sanity, using lockdowns as a means to dismantle our fellow citizen.

How to become homeless when you start millionaire and CEO of a small/moderate company? Well this is the first and main step, because on any major problem, you are alone and no-one is going to testify in your favor. Especially if you genuinely wouldn’t mind if everyone went to hell for the hell they’re causing me.

Sure, my parents. But my parents are the ones who vote for locking up everyone and mandating social isolation. So their love stops at mandated lockdowns. Their love, and the same goes for 90% of my fellow citizen, their love and social fabric stops at giving you a hell if a time to deal with.

Same goes for feminism. Everyone likes feminism! Men commit suicide at 5x the rate? Not a problem! Men work themselves till death while women enjoy choice, choice of careerS, choice of being a mother while the husband provides, choice of sexualizing their body? Must be their sexism! Men have little choice and become insane? It’s their fault! Let’s clearly not provide resources to fight men’s workaholism!

I hate people. I really hate all my fellow citizen who cheer happily at the idea of stopping the economy, and lockdowns drove me practically insane. If they took my job away, I wouldn’t have passed the winter. And they were this close to taking our jobs away.

I’m trying to make good use of my money (buying a house, giving myself a chance) but I’m writing this so people understand the depth of the ordeal, especially for people who don’t have the extreme luxury that I have with having enough money for such a project (I’ve earnt every bit of it, but other people have worked just as much and didn’t meet success).

Lockdowns are pretty bad, I think this cannot be emphasized enough. Still I think nobody wants to experience full-fledged pandemics like in the past that not just wreck social lives but whole economies. Right now some economies are quite well off again.

I think society is fading during lockdown, it really goes by the distance, let's hope that's changing back to normal soon.

> Everyone likes feminism! Men commit suicide at 5x the rate? Not a problem! Men work themselves till death

So do women, even in the G8 nations. Not sure if everyone likes feminism but also men have to suffer from the fallout of toxic masculinity. Like over-competitiveness, and yes this can also result in overworking. Even unrelated movements bring something anyone can benefit from. It's like with software, you think you fix a bug but at the same time you improve a structural problem.

I feel bad about you man, and I wish people in this website could recognize your experience rather than simply downvote it because it is not aligned with their political views.

What I found so frustrating about the comment was how close it was to some sort of insight, while maddeningly not connecting the dots.

He has some vague sense that his unhappiness is related to "workaholism", but is so fixated on gender politics that he twists it to revolve around that. He imagines that women have a "choice of careers, choice of being a mother while the husband provides", apparently oblivious to the economic reality that single-income families are an impossibility for the majority of people, not because of feminism, but because of market forces.

You can see the alienation and the sense of rage and despair engendered by social atomization and hustle worship, only to be channeled not against any of the root causes, but some bogeyman like feminism which, precisely because of the aforementioned dislocation, hits closer to home emotionally.

And the worst of it is hearing echoes of my previous self in the words (projected or not), but being aware of the irony that it's only people who ARE close to you who have a chance of helping you out of that kind of morass.

I don't know OP, but a lot of people just spent a long time all alone with no outside communication except the internet. Lots of them discovered that as soon as in person work was removed that they really had no real friends. That can be quite a terrible discovery finding out you are really all alone. Isolation does strange things to the mind. That coupled with whatever echo chambers people happened to wonder into online probably had a dramatic effect on hundreds of thousands of people coming out of this thing. May take years for some to recover and many will probably never return to the same person they were.

Just the other day I read a comment from a single mother with three children who just sent her children back to school after 15 months of home schooling. Her comment indicated that her views on society did not improve much during the pandemic, either, no workaholism required.

Society has very openly displayed its disrespect for certain groups of people during the pandemic, he clearly has a point there.

Feminism was just one of the several things he said.

There are plenty of zero-income families - single mothers. So single-income families are surely even more possible. Usually only women have this choice. Men can't choose family over career.

How does that work? You get money just for being a mother?

At least the way it works in the countries I’ve lived in is that if you’re on the dole it doesn’t matter if you’re a mother (or a father for that matter)—you still have the obligation to find a job.

And as a man you can totally chose family over career, in the same way that women do. There’s a social stigma against it, of course. And it can be economically difficult—but that’s the case for women as well.

Of course, the pressure for a man to act as a provider and to focus on his career is very real. I think laurent92 isn’t wrong about the pressures men face. It’s weird though to blame that on feminism. I think feminism already helped chip away at the pressure. A stay-at-home dad should be acceptable to a feminist, more so than to someone who never gave pause to these questions. But in the end, it’s not feminism’s job to take care of men’s mental health, that’s really something that requires a movement of its own.

> Men can't choose family over career.

I’m not sure why you think this. I have quite a few friends and families in my circle where the women are the primary breadwinners of the family. Let alone the number of two-mother and two-father households. In almost all cases dual-incomes are the norm.

When you say, “men can’t choose family”, who’s preventing that?

"simply downvote it because it is not aligned with their political views"

The parent poster is literally seething with hatred.

If that doesn't deserve a downvote on HN, regardless of your political views, I don't know what does.

We've also seen many times that hatred against women in online forums has led to acts of violence against women in real life.

That also deserves to be called out and condemned, regardless of one's politics.

Would his perspective change if he had a girlfriend or a wife? I think he would be able to better empathize with the opposite sex.

No reason to feel bad. Reactionaries get lots of support on this site. See! Their rant about how all their problems are the fault of feminists and liberals is no longer grey.

You can only get -4, so it depends on how much upvotes in a row you get (until you’re flagged).

That said, “it’s fault of feminists and liberals” is not what he meant, afaiu. He is complaining about the lack of attention to all “boring” problems like men suicide only because there are some fast-fashion peak problems which are supported by those who have less to do in their life. Again, afaiu. While my views are different, I see no reason to summarize his views the way you did.

It's funny how these sort of posts only seem to bring up male suicide when talking about feminism. It's almost like they don't actually care about male suicide as a problem just as a handy cudgel to be used against feminism. Yet when the conversation turns to things which actually have a major impact on suicide among men like toxic masculinity, they often deny such things even exist or is really just an attack against men. This is clear if you just take a look at a few more posts from the above poster. The only time they ever bring up issues with men is to contrast them with "how easy" women have it. It's got gems like this:

> "- Cult of female employment as their main role in society, which, in positions of power, happens to soften the stance towards criminals and deconstruct structures (hierarchies, things that worked to develop our nations, justice system). I don’t know the ratio for Cali but in France, 76 to 81% graduates of ENM (main school for judges) are female since 1977, and we basically free the criminals because they have compassion for them."

> "So I never demanded anything from my father up to the point I needed him. At 35 years old I told him modern women were unmanageable and my life was turning sour, and I needed help, I needed people to understand that men are being mistreated by the system, but I said it with ample documentation (you could watch the excellent movie The Red Pill, which depicts pretty much the complexity of our position), and that the only answer of society towards us is “Incel”. By the time I asked my father, I had already created some networks through politicians, but on the topic that interests me, all still had the same dismissive position, because promoting men doesn’t work politically. I’m saying that so you don’t say that I hadn’t walked my walk."

> "There aren’t many ways besides violence to be heard by people who refuse to hear us. I’ve already tried words! And more importantly for me: I’ve already tried taking positive action."

Feminists only want to blame "toxic masculinity" (which I believe is a real thing but feminists often define toxic masculinity as all masculinity) for male suicide rates and is just as disingenuous as the point you think your making

It sounds like you can afford therapy, you should strongly consider it. They can probably help you deal with your problems in a way that doesn't externalize your negative experiences onto others. If everything is someone else's fault, then there is so cause for self improvement and you will remain stuck where you are.

But here we are having problems caused by externals? Government coerceing me for to stay only in my house solely is external? So no «externalize»?

> Men work themselves till death while women enjoy choice

As a man, isn't the "work themselves till death" part also a choice? Women enjoy all the choices you listed, sure, but what prevents the man from enjoying his choices? A man is likewise free to do anything.

I think it helps a lot to understand why people think differently than you. People (like your parents) didn’t vote for social distancing and shutting down the economy because they are evil. They’re not deserving of hate. When this all started it wasn’t clear how many millions might have died. So they were choosing the less worse option from what they knew. And who knows - maybe all those precautions ended up saving millions of lives. Give people the benefit of the doubt - the vast, vast majority of us are doing the best we can with what we know and understand and given our constraints.

Dude you need to chill out. Stop blaming external factors for how you feel and take ownership of your internal monologue and feelings. You can change how you think.

Go home GPT, you're drunk.

Dude, like you, I don't like to be locked up. Disregard comments sending you to the psych, I believe you are sane and the rest of the people, living in fear and locked up are the insane.

Its good to be angry because this is bullshit, and remember, were not for people like you, we would still be slaves.

Sorry about your problems. I hope things get better for you soon. Good on you for buying a house. Don't get married or you'll eventually lose it.

Just a bit of personal thoughts on parent's love. I think it's valuable when you're a child, then when you're an adult, you only need to remember the feeling. You don't need the actual parents anymore. Everyone's parents eventually die and can no longer love them. Perhaps you didn't get it while you were a child and still crave it? There's ways to recreate that feeling without needing your parents. It's harder and it's unfair, but it puts you in control. Nobody else will ever care about you as much as yourself, so don't rely on anyone's love.

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