Comment by sureglymop | Hacker News Reader

Comment by sureglymop | Hacker News Reader

Parent Full thread

As someone in their 20s without social media, I have exactly 0 friends. I live in a central European country and everyone around me has a friend group that originated during their childhood; they have childhood friends. I do not, mainly because throughout my time in school I switched schools a whole lot for various reasons. Over the years I've also grown quite insecure about it and anxious.

Now I also happen to not like alcohol or smoking which really reduces my chances of meeting someone my age to 0, because I don't go out to parties and such. Not that it was even possible during COVID-19.

I'm happy that I at least have supportive parents, siblings and family. But I think there are a lot of young people in my situation and many of them only have parasocial relationships, for example with Twitch streamers and YouTubers.

Homeoffice has been hard with all the distractions home has to offer and I really do miss eating lunch with coworkers. I'm going to start studying at university this fall so I'm optimistic that I might make some friends there.

Maybe try reaching out to some coworkers and see if they'll meet you for lunch somewhere in between. I have one I meet every week, and one I meet once a month or so, and another who I meet up with but not for lunch, just a 10 minute chat or so.

They probably are feeling a lot like you.

You need to join organizations - hobby groups, collector groups, professional groups, etc.

I don't smoke or drink. You can still go play billiards, work out at a gym, find a pull up bar in public, join a bicycle group ride, skateboard, join a yoga class, hang out at a maker space, go to a car meetup, go off road driving, go camping or hiking in a national park, go to concerts, start muay thai or bjj, etc. I meet a ton of people without alcohol.

You're right.. I suppose I am also a very shy person. But for starters, I joined a soccer club. And hopefully soon I'll get over my anxiety of going to the gym, I've been wanting to go for some time.

I am in the same camp, though, drinking doesn't exactly expand the options that much, just so you know. The real problem is our generation doesn't really seem to have many places to actually meet and make friends with others our own age. It is either some club (not exactly conducive to long term friendship building) or online in some way. If you don't make lasting friendships during college, many of us 20-somethings are kind of screwed unless we bust our asses trying to join communities outside of work. I've been thinking about volunteer work for instance.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com