Join the military; Afterward everything will seem cool as long as no one is shooting at you. Apply to DARPA or some other "skunkworks." Take a survival class; Few people know how little it actually takes to survive, but knowing you can survive with just what is in your head relieves a huge amount of stress. Go private and start a small computer business; helping others makes life seem worthwhile. Start a "hip pocket" business such as upholstering, writing, wood carving, truck farming; it gives you a fall-back skill and the physical work combined with the completely different mind-set required by that work may cure your burn-out from coding. Your third point is poorly phrased; I would say that you can't "have it your way" while working for others.