Upon being charged with crimes, I had to make my way through the court system. As a consequence of my actions, the courts punished me. Once I had showed that I was not a serial offender but instead someone who had moments of weakness, lost identity, and subsequently poor judgement, the courts let me go.
Once I paid my debts to the court — figuratively and literally — I was free to live my life without the government watching over my shoulder or further being a burden to my future. My dealings with them had a fixed amount of time attached to it. Once that time limit expired, I was free.
Society was far less kind, and hardly as forgiving.
No, I'm not talking about employment — I am and always have been very gainfully employed. No, I'm not talking about renting an apartment, or getting a loan, or opening a bank account.
I'm talking about new acquaintances.
As we have seen over the past 5 years, in the minds of many a website is a single source of truth. To a large number of people, simply having a website is enough to give confidence to the reader that what's written is an absolute and authoritative source. It is only correct, completely unbiased, and contains 100% factual sourcing.
When there's a webpage with dirty laundry on it, it rarely gets updated to say "later, Judge Judy found suspect to be of good character, and they've since paid their debts to the court."
No, it just has absolute worst moment on repeat, leaving out all the context and any depth that goes into a legal proceeding. It's entirely the worst part of a nightmare.
I've personally had a number of articles written in addition to a 15-second segment on the local evening news. Getting a call from a partner who is sobbing, "my parents Googled you." is absolutely stomach-turning. Knowing my little sister had to go to school the day after the clip played next day was something I am more ashamed about than I can put into words. Thankfully she was too young for a cell phone and social media was still in its infancy.
My partner very privy to my dirty laundry. When they first learned of it they were actually surprised. It didn't bother them though as they knew who I was as a person and that my days of making mistakes were behind me.
Their parents were less understanding. They didn't know me like my partner did. They just saw a series of mugshots and some local news articles from mistakes I made as a young adult.
It wasn't the first and it wasn't the last time it happened, either.
I have always been transparent and forthcoming with mistakes I've made. I'm just as candid with friends as I am here on HN. Hell, my profile even says I'm a former felon!
One point does not make a pattern. Many minor crime stories are just a point. That point, on the internet, is a scar, and those who come across them out of curiosity, suspicion, or nosiness re-open the wound.
Since my bad decisions, I've had success in contacting the authors of the articles highlighting my worst-moment-kept-in-a-non-governmental-database asking if they'd consider removing their article. I mentioned I had completed probation and was doing something with my life, and that the article was hurting me and my relationships with people. They obliged.
Edit: This isn't the first time I've mentioned I'm a felon in a comment. I've received a surprising number of emails over the years from other felons (or felons-to-be) asking "how did you reintegrate into society?" or "do you have any advice?". If you're one of them and reading this, you're more than welcome drop me an email.