Ah yes, Amazon isn't a monopoly. That's why I often use the alternative online shopping site that has nearly every mass-produced item imaginable at low prices and low or free shipping. Same with Facebook: it's good thing there's that competitor of theirs that nearly everyone is on, catching up, organizing local events, buying and selling stuff. And man, I don't know where I would be without that other Internet search engine that rapidly and intelligently indexes almost everything online as soon as it's up and has been so fine-tuned over more than a decade that it has an almost psychic ability to correctly interpret even the most vague, misspelled and deranged search queries. It's truly amazing that humanity managed to make such a wonder of technology not just once, but twice!

Really, I don't know what the lawmakers are thinking. Competition is alive and well on the Internet! Innovation has never been higher! Absolutely nothing has gotten worse since 2008! Boy I can't wait for the next version of Firefox. It totally won't be even more like Chrome this time.