If triggered it should spray a combination of fart spray, glitter, pepper spray, honey, flour, feathers, ink, in all directions. [EDIT: let's take out the pepper spray, see comments]
As a bonus it would also be useful against towing people who try to tow without contacting the owner, but the primary use case would be thieves.
I've seen so many companies making dash cams and things of the like, but considering SF does nothing even given evidence, it's time to actually spray the perpetrator with something nasty and embarrassing.