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Comment by philangist | Hacker News Reader

It may have been a joke by your friend but it's also has an element of truth to it and is how many cultures across the world understand 'retirement'. It's only since I came to America that I've realized the idea of children having an obligation to take care of their parents when they're elderly could even be controversial.

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That requires culture in which it is expected of kids to support parents in old age. Or at least a culture that does not see that as a bad thing.

Most Americans have a form of the culture. The details are different, but most Americans take care of their parents in some form. However because America is a mix of cultures there is a lot of disagreement on how to take care of parents and so you can always find someone of a different cultural influence who isn't doing what you would and look down on them.

There are those who don't have kids (or the kids are dead). There are also those who the kids have moved far enough away that they can't really take care of the parents like they want to. However those are not actually the majority cases.

> There are also those who the kids have moved far enough away that they can't really take care of the parents like they want to. However those are not actually the majority cases

Those cases are very over-represented on HN compared to what's typical nationally and may very well be the local majority here.

The other side of this is lost now. Where grandparents provide childcare before they are too old.

May parents have to first pay for childcare and then have to help out their parents.

Grandparents can be occasional babysitter, but not daily childcare provider.

They have jobs in their own, until they are too weak for those. And then, they are also too weak to be primary childcare. Mutual help do a lot, but asking them to replace childcare is unrealistic.

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