I know exactly what to do to change though. I know that the most important pillars are diet, physical activity and good sleep, I own all the right books, I take all the right supplements, I intellectually understand you have to break tasks down to their smallest step in order to reduce activation energy and I know about the compound-effect...and still I can't do it or build a good habit.
I tried many approaches: extensive to-do lists, pomodori, journaling, gamification, tough love, self-love, meditation. Nothing seems to help. Even if I manage to do something positive for a few weeks, I eventually "slip up" and I don't even notice for a few days how I haven't been running in the morning or how I haven't been drinking enough water during the day.
I've been trying to get an official ADHD diagnosis (and perhaps medication down the line) for more than a year now but the process gets delayed and dragged out time and time again, so much that I suspect that the mental healthcare department tasked with giving out ADHD diagnoses must be staffed with fellow ADHDers. It's especially frustrating to read on the internet how some people seem to get a diagnosis and medication within weeks while I'm losing more and more lifetime.
My life sucks. I'm unemployed and burning through my savings at an insane speed, only running on fumes now. But I just can't get myself to look for a job or a healthy social life when everything else seems so much more interesting. The impulsiveness has stopped being charming to people a long time ago. A number of them have been separating from me or actively removing me from their lives over me "going nowhere in life" or being an "energy vampire".