> Fed and SEC etc all claim they want to make things safe for retail investors

The Fed makes no such claim and has no such mandate.

The SEC does, though it's hampered by its jurisdiction over securities and little else. Cryptocurrencies have succeeded, in part, by branding as and behaving like currencies more than securities. They operate in a space that likely requires legislation to be regulated.

> you will see a ton of regulations coming down like SOX to “protect” investors when we could have been protected RIGHT NOW, May 2021. It’s utter bullshit.

Rulemaking has a cost, economically and politically. For better or for worse, the most effective rule making tends to be reactionary. Regulating cryptocurrencies now would be political suicide. There isn't a clear cut, broadly comprehensible case for it.