My happiest period with relation to work was similar, laborious but satisfying because I got something done every day and didn't have to think about it after work. When you're writing software, it's hard to turn off the switch (I think especially if you find software development itself to be an interesting subject) when you leave the office. It's hard to not think about the design, the thing you'll do tomorrow, continue pondering that failed test case or new bug report into the evening. I only really got past that myself by introducing a significant break between work and the rest of my day with exercise in the 1-3 hours after work. But that's a rather high cost for anyone with a family.