You described yourself as extremely self-centered and you didn't seem to notice that you did so. I'm wondering if you are one of those people who seem to only ever use the left side of their brain. You can function in the role of a father in this mode but don't expect your kids to take care of you when you're old if you never respect their opinions and desires. I'm reaching out to you because what you wrote seem tragic to me.
Applying human sensibilities to the result of an evolutionary process is not going to capture all its intricacies because evolution re-uses systems with no regard to taxonomy. Because of this you are for example unable to tell the difference between anxiety and gas trapped in your stomach, or tension in your neck and stress from work. There is no duality which lets us separate mind and body, and apparently people can get so out of tune with their own body, mind and emotions that physical numbness results.