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Comment by jordan_curve | Hacker News Reader

I think “dating coaching” is usually a term used akin to “pick-up artist” i.e. using manipulative tricks to convince people to have sex with you.

I don’t think having there’s anything wrong with having some sort of social interaction coach or the equivalent to help learn what the social norms around dating are. Although not usually for dating, that is a form of therapy that can be helpful for people on the autism spectrum who may have trouble understanding the social cues on their own.

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>> I don’t think having there’s anything wrong with having some sort of social interaction coach or the equivalent to help learn what the social norms around dating are.

If you're looking for something long term why seek advice from someone that's chronically single but an expert at "dating". And if someone has been married a long time, they probably don't know anything about the current "dating scene". But if you just want to learn to hook up with lots of people then maybe they have something to teach you.

They aren’t selling you dating tips, they are selling you a guide to have confidence. Part of making headway into a problem where someone has low confidence is building them up (in whatever way) to be less fearful. If you are deathly afraid of rejection, we pretty much have to hide a pill inside a donut so to speak, where one must be convinced the girl/guy across the table is no big deal. It’s a necessary evil sadly for people that suffer from chronic insecurity.

Many of the consumers in the "dating coach" industry begin from a situation where they are not meeting any women at all. Now, regardless if you are looking for short-term or long-term relationships, the first step is actually meeting new women. If a dating coach can help someone do that, great. If you don't meet any women, you won't magically stumble into a long-tetm relationship.

That sounds partial. What prevents somebody who is still relatively young and understands the current norms, and who might even have struggled through it themselves and learned their lessons, from giving out advice? AFAIK there was a book from an Asperger guy that got 1000+ upvotes here not long ago: https://www.danielwendler.com/

If your objection is that you are looking for a long-term relationship instead of pick-up skills, and you are not satisfied with the replies that state the supposed confidence boost from learning pick-up dynamics, there are also plenty of resources exclusively focusing on finding and maintaining long-term relationships, such as the one above.

> why seek advice from someone that's chronically single but an expert at "dating". And if someone has been married a long time, they probably don't know anything about the current "dating scene"

Why seek advice on diabetes from a doctor who isn't diabetic?

Bizarre objection to make.

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