I feel the same pressures. Like I'm a failure for not wanting what it feels like so much of silicon valley thinks all of silicon valley wants. But nope, I'm supposed to be passionate about work. This sort of toxic work culture seems worse in startups especially.

> Everyone knows kids consume your time. But what people without kids may not realize is the extent to which people with kids want their time to be consumed by them. And, on the whole, I’d guess women more so than men.

That last sentence makes me sad in all sorts of ways. It's probably true, but the expectations are self-reinforcing, expecting women to be more family oriented than they might want, and expecting men to me more work oriented than they might want.