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Comment by anotha1 | Hacker News Reader

Unscientifically, absent mother is seen as worse than absent father.

I agree, and will may involuntarily postpone having kids because of that reason alone.

If you would be a good parent and want kids, then I believe the idea of delaying is harmful, especially if you are over say 25.

Trying to set up the perfect nest, or to save "enough", is not a game that most people can win.

At least, the above is from what I have seen of friends that had kids, compared with those that delayed too long.

> If you would be a good parent and want kids, then I believe the idea of delaying is harmful, especially if you are over say 25.

25?!?

None of the people I know who have kids started trying for them until their 30s.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying your 20s and having kids when you’re ready.

The risk of genetic defects increase with age[1]. You are right though, you can definitely have healthy children in your 30's, though late 40s looks a little scary.

[1] https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Gene...

The pattern I have seen is enjoying your 20s, then deciding to have a family, but not having a suitable partner, which leads to undesirable outcomes (desperate decisions, never finding a partner, disappointment of not engine up with kids, difficulty conceiving). This goes for men and women.

Another pattern is seeing people in their thirties finding it harder to adjust to the necessary changes because they have got accustomed to a lifestyle.

Absence of either is more or less even-equal of a problem:

Jordan Peterson and Warren Farrell on The Boy Crisis and Gender Politics - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AA1lR3CC4s

Don't know you're grayed out. Humans are genetically extremely similar, appearances not-withstanding. Nurture is what creates valuable and functional humans. Societal factors that reduce parents ability to nurture their children are bad regardless of the parents gender.

The content of this discussion does an excellent job of explaining the reasoning of the people that have downvoted this comment.

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