The definition of rape hinges on the detail of consent and in many countries the laws are written such that only a man can be guilty of rape and only a woman can be a victim. Many such laws specify that rape occurs when forced vaginal sex occurs and forced anal sex would be called sodomy in many cases.

Lots and lots of "first time sex" acts -- by which I mean first time sex between two specific people -- involves alcohol. Alcohol is the number on date rape drug and men sometimes ply women with so much alcohol that they are falling down drunk and incapable of legally consenting.

Most people imagine that rape involves violent assault where some thug drags a woman by her hair screaming into a dark alley. Most incidents of rape aren't even violent. Date rape and acquaintance rape are probably far more common than violent assault of that sort.

Rape is a hard topic to discuss and there is lots of misinformation out there and people are very uncomfortable with someone trying to educate them. I've had people accuse me of being a rape apologist for talking about what really goes on.