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Comment by bobthebuilders | Hacker News Reader

You're unable of living in real life if you can't exchange pleasantries. It's kinda sad for some of us introverts out there, but the reality is that these things can do a lot for even simple things like job mobility in the subconscious sense. You may get mad at someone for interrupting your work for instance, but saying hello and goodbye and thank you does wonders for getting people to like you more, being able to tell someone to stop bothering you when you need it, and even in what people perceive as personality.

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So you're doubling down on condescendingly explaining how to human. Cool.

Consider this: I have a high emotional IQ and acutely understand whatever lesson you think you're imparting here, I just don't have the kind of bullshit budget required in this context.

Here's the obvious consequence that no one ever seems to get, even with having it explained to them: if I'm going to have to start dropping things on the floor and make some people unhappy, guess who I'm going to choose to be the recipient? All the people most responsible for squandering the resources that were available.

Are you sure you're not dealing with a lot of burnout right now?

Your call, your problem, I've no stake in it either way. I don't need an answer here, although don't let me stop you if you feel the need. I'm just saying, is all, because the kind of analysis you're describing reminds me of the way I tend to get thinking when I'm too burned out to have realized yet how burned out I am.

Maybe I'm wrong to make the comparison, and in fact I kind of hope I am, because you sound like you're in a bad way.

> Consider this: I have a high emotional IQ

Given that you felt the need to say that, you might want to reconsider whether your powers of self-diagnosis are as accurate as you previously thought.

> I just don't have the kind of bullshit budget required...

> ...if I'm going to have to start dropping things on the floor...

...then you've already failed. The goal is to never get to that point in the first place. Perhaps if you spent some of your "bullshit budget" sooner, it wouldn't have even occurred to you to make plans for throwing a tantrum.

Civility is incredibly cheap and has a multiplier effect on most other human resource metrics—such as productivity, enthusiasm and loyalty.

> Given that you felt the need to say that, you might want to reconsider[...]

You're responding to an anonymous comment on a message board with zero IRL context. Consider your own ability to diagnose here.

I didn’t offer a diagnosis.

The remark "you might want to reconsider whether your powers of self-diagnosis" is not using "consider" in the same sense that I used it in the comment you're replying to. You are not really asking me to consider anything. You are mirroring the word choice, but the thrust of your comment is an argument that my comment is probably not true, and that it is almost self-invalidating.

Perversely, you are doing exactly the thing that the statement "Consider this: I have a high emotional IQ" is exhorting you not to do, which is to tunnel vision your way to one of the possible outcomes--the one where it isn't true--and then try to reflexively use it to justify the starting position that leads to that outcome. You are failing to consider the counterfactual.

You wrote all that to tacitly admit that you had failed to convey your point effectively. Cool.

That marks attempt #3 here at begging the question.

If you can describe how what I said fits the informal fallacy of begging the question, I'll concede all disagreements, accept that you're correct in everything and donate AU$500 to a charity of your choice.

I don't see how I'm being condescending or doubling down?

I suspect they mistook you for the last poster, eropple.

> how to human

That's not a quote from me? I think you're just proving my point.

You're right, it's my quote--where I gave an inline description about what was condescending about it. Since you asked, I repeated it.

But I never said that? I was asking what part of my description was condescending, not what part of your description was condescending.

> I never said that

I know. I said it. Why am I having to repeat this?

> what part of your description was condescending

What? I'm not saying my description was condescending. It is a description of your reply. It pinpoints what was condescending about that reply. You are "leaping at the opportunity" to explain "how to human". This is condescending. It would be like if I launched into an explanation about why it's a good idea to shower and maintain good hygiene, as if you needed to be told that body odor can be unpleasant for other people and might make them not want to be around you.

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