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Normal Unix method of doing this is via LD_PRELOAD, then you wrap unlink() in something that moves things to a folder. I used something - think it was libtrash - when I used Linux on the desktop, but haven't investigated what the OS X equivalent would be.

rmtrash

http://www.nightproductions.net/cli.htm

I prefer 'brew install rmtrash'

There's lots of stuff like that out there, I'm talking about something I can actually replace the rm binary with, a wrapper that precisely maintains the rm interface as described here: http://developer.apple.com/library/mac/#documentation/Darwin...

I like the idea of actually wrapping the unlink syscall, but I have no idea if/how darwin allows that.

You can alias trash-cli over rm, though it ignores -i, -r and -f and instead runs recursively, forced and non-interactively by default.

I use trash-cli (http://code.google.com/p/trash-cli/) on Linux, it is in Python so it shouldn't be too hard to get running on OS X (although I guess you might have to modify the location of the trash folder)