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Comment by hn_asker | Hacker News Reader

Feels like we live in a society where self-compassion is not tolerated. How can we be kind to ourselves if there are mechanisms in society that keep us distracted from ourselves?

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Learn to reject some of the distractions. You don't even have to reject them entirely, you mostly just need moderation. I used to play video games essentially any time I wasn't at work or eating (which was not a healthy way to deal with my anxiety and depression and chronic pain, but it was an effective distraction). I cut back on that to let myself focus on healthier or more productive activities. I still play games, not nearly as much as before obviously, but it's no longer at that former extreme, self-indulgent and destructive level.

I'm glad you cut back and realized that your health is more important. I haven't had a TV since I was in high school. I don't really play video games. It's the notion of "work" in western society that is a distraction from self-compassion. Some of it is fulfilling, some of it is soul-sucking.

I think to implement self-compassion more effectively, we need less of these soul-sucking jobs. Everyone is different though. To some, chopping wood may be fulfilling, to others not so much. So perhaps, we need more fulfilling notions of "work" and making a living.

I think that in your case, allow yourself some time for unproductive rest and relaxation. I don't mean this as a joke. I means this as a "it is ok and beneficial to just chill for some time" and "it is ok to spend time in an unproductive way". Because I noticed that your fulfilling hobby is also basically work.

You can be normal, or you can live well.

Reminds me of a documentary called "Medicating Normal". Try being self-compassionate when you have unholy side effects of benzos, anti-depressants, and anti-psychotics prescribed to you.

Normal by "western" standards is unhealthy. We need a renaissance of self-compassion but it has to be protected from the systems that be.

I am recognise that here we have no problem for to simpley solve. But, however, are you haveing idea on how protected from the systems that be means and ought to be enactment? We have jobs if are demanding normal; how ought one to holding down job without normal?

Jobs are just one way of living. I feel like there are more efficient ways to implement prosperity. Or have less suffering keeping the level of prosperity the same.

What is a job? Is it really beneficial? This reminds me of David Graeber's Bullshit Jobs lecture. Too many people are suffering because of their trust in systemic inefficiency.

well we are having to support the self in some how. i am not sure if there are diferent way. only other option appear to be take some money from a person and give to other person with state force. this behavior is not ethical

That's like asking how one can be in shape if there is so much sugar in the world.

I am percieveing that your statment is twenty and forty and even fifty years out from date. This have been the case in past times but we have now had pendulem swing in to far the other direction. There exists in today to much "if you are feel depresed that is normal." It, is not a normal thing and shold be pitied not be calling normal. Calling a thing a normal makes it more encouraging to a person and so it is not a good thing.

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