I wish I read these reviews before buying the game, because every last one of those reviews is well-deserved.

I know no game can ever be good enough to match the 13 years of false starts and anticipation inherent in DNF. If I waited 13 years for Half Life 3, even a Valve masterpiece would feel a little anticlimactic (BTW, pretty please, Valve, please don't make us wait 13 years for a Half Life sequel).

I expect some degree of toilet humor and raunchy jokes, because that's what Duke Nukem was all about. But DNF is fraught with slow loading times, tedious cutscenes you can't skip past, and in general from the hour or so I've played it, it just isn't that fun.