Back in april, The Awl published a list of don'ts[1] and then last week, some dos[2], many of which conveniently appeared in this nyt piece.

[1]: http://www.theawl.com/2011/04/some-awesome-things-to-say-to-... [2]: http://www.theawl.com/2011/06/actually-awesome-things-to-say...