The entire point of the Chromebook is that your OS is constantly updated, and you're complaining about it updating when you start it for the first time? Also: rich coming from someone that works for Microsoft. A fresh install of Windows has nearly a gig of updates to download.
It tells you what product you're using after booting for the first time? You know, like basically every product in existence? Let me introduce you to the dozens of Welcome to Windows screens you get after installing your company's OS.
I honestly didn't think it was possible for someone to physically complain about getting a free taste of 3G service, but there you go on your silly little rant.
Yes, it's not without its flaws. But for what it's aiming to do: be an extremely accessible internet-browsing laptop that has absolutely zero IT overhead, it's a great first shot as a flagship product. Give it 6 months to a year for a lot of the kinks to be worked out, some better file-system interaction, third-part offline Chrome apps to come out, and for the prices to drop a little. Or don't, because you clearly already made your mind up about the product before even laying a finger on it.