This kind of hurt my brain to read. Fret not, your perspective will change over time, with your narrow world view being replaced as your experience adds up and as your hormones stabilize. First, you don’t have it half as bad as you think, and second, if you think it’s bad now just wait until 15 years from now lol. Things will will get much worse, your responsibilities will grow, but hopefully then you’ll all the tougher and wiser. My recommendation is that you take responsibility for yourself, do what needs to be done and stop your lamenting. It’s an unappealing and detrimental trait that you are hard-wiring into your brain from an early age and thinking like that will not benefit you in the long run. Giddy up.