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Comment by bichiliad | Hacker News Reader

I'm overlooking the "teeth" part of this story to share a bit of an anecdote here. I'm a guy, and I lost my hair when I was about 21. I spent a while trying every medication (many of which have sexual health side effects), but I don't think I was ever actually happy until I just accepted that I was bald and that was just part of how I looked. Don't get me wrong — I would love having hair again, but it doesn't bother me that I don't.

If it helps anyone else out there: no one else thinks about your hair besides you. Getting rid of my anxiety around how my hair looked (checking it in the mirror all the time, using products to make it look less thin, etc) was absolutely worth giving up any illusion that my hair was going to stick around. Plus, it has made putting on sweaters so much easier, and I never have to worry about helmet hair.

If you're reading this post with a touch of anxiety about your hair, just know that it's gonna be fine and you probably look cool as hell (albeit a bit different) with a buzz cut.

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> If it helps anyone else out there: no one else thinks about your hair besides you.

I mean, kinda. Sure, nobody is probably stressing about how many centimeters your scalp is receding, but you can bet lots of people will be more attracted to someone who looks young with a full head of hair compared to someone who has typical male pattern baldness. Just google "male hair restoration before and after" for some examples, and tell me you don't think there's a stark difference to most examples.

I do agree, though, fortunately it's become socially acceptable to shave your head and that can be seen as a sign of attractiveness (though I still think this cartoon is pretty accurate: https://i.imgur.com/IMmmP8A.gif)

There's a running joke on the wsb subreddit about this, about the return that Elon saw in getting his hair fixed (I can't find the specific phrasing and construct of the joke at the moment), but anyway his transformation is fairly notable and there's no doubt it contributed in some part to his success: https://thenewdaily.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/elon-m...

I wish it were not true, but I think it sadly is, that as much people would like to think appearances don't matter, they do. Of course that doesn't mean you should beat yourself over it if you were dealt a bad hand in the hair department, because you can do something to improve your appearances in general! Start with a 5x5 or similar routine, because the gains in your confidence and appearances aside, the gains in strength and health are reason enough.

The concept of "pretty privilege" is something I'd never really payed much attention to throughout life. I always focused on hard work, kindness, sincerity, positivity, and openness. I hit 30 recently, and while I had a lot of people who value me, I didn't really feel like I was being pulled in so much as proving my way into society.

So I started focusing on superficial stuff. Better clothes, better style, cologne, shit like that. I don't think these things alone would be enough to matter; I think it's really important to work on who you are on the inside before becoming a facade.

But holy fuck there's a difference. From what I can tell, being more or less attractive is the single biggest factor in how people will treat you.

And from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense: good looking is supposed to mean good genes, and good genes are precious.

Sorry if this is kind of a bummer thing to talk about, but I think the more aware of it we become as a species, the closer we'll get to recognizing our pre-programmed bias towards good looks and perhaps looking passed it to the actual quality of the character.

Also, I'm pretty sure every girl learns this the day they wear makeup, and then the day they don't.

> From what I can tell, being more or less attractive is the single biggest factor in how people will treat you.

Sadly, this is absolutely correct. I want to say I wish someone told me this sooner... but they kinda did... only in hints that were easy for me to misunderstand. Socially dumber people, like me, need to be told things less ambiguously.

Things like hard work, kindness, sincerity, positivity, openness... yes, they definitely contribute to long-term success and happiness. Problem is, your looks decide which doors will open for you. And it doesn't matter if hypothetically you could do a great job, if you are not allowed to try. On the other hand, if you get invited to many places, you get many opportunities to practice, so even if you suck at first, over time you improve.

There is this thing called "halo effect", which means that if you are attractive, people are going to assume all kinds of good things about you, without any evidence, sometimes despite the evidence to contrary.

> Also, I'm pretty sure every girl learns this the day they wear makeup, and then the day they don't.

With makeup, it is easy to make an A/B test. I wonder if we could borrow an artificial body and face for a day, how much that would change our priorities in life.

There's a great Sci-Fi short story by Ted Chiang called, "Liking What You See: A Documentary".

It's about a reversible procedure that inhibits the ability for people to detect prettiness 'calliagnosia'. They talk about 'lookism'.

It does an interesting job exploring what this would mean and the good and bad associated with it (which I think Ted Chiang always does a great job of).

It's definitely worth reading.

> And from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense: good looking is supposed to mean good genes, and good genes are precious.

There’s also other inferences you can draw, such as being disciplined enough to groom, having time and money to have clean, fitting clothes, etc.

Not sure why this is getting down voted, there are definitely evolutionary advantages to looking for secondary and tertiary indicators of health.

The biggest part of the transformation is his attitude towards it. If you don't make a big deal out of it, nobody else will.

Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs, Jony Ive are all media darlings in the tech industry, so clearly being bald isn't an impediment.

If you look at the acting world, Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Patrick Stewart, Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson all make it incredibly clear that baldness doesn't stop you from being considered a sex symbol.

WRT to Patrick Stewart / Picard - Roddenberry had this retort when asked about it by reporter about casting Stewart in Star Trek: TNG. "Surely by the 24th century, they would have found a cure for male pattern baldness." And Gene Roddenberry responded "No, by the 24th century, no one will care." Could by apocryphal, I'm too lazy to check. I've worried a fair bit about losing my hair and it use to take up a lot of head space. Since then though, I've acquired a chronic, mildly painful condition. I'm not as optimistic as Roddenberry however, I do now see being bald but in otherwise good health as still being very fortunate, more than many, perhaps most. It doesn't mean that we can't find ways to remedy it, but it helped me see it in a grander scheme. I just wear a hat now.

> WRT to Patrick Stewart / Picard - Roddenberry had this retort when asked about it by reporter about casting Stewart in Star Trek: TNG. "Surely by the 24th century, they would have found a cure for male pattern baldness." And Gene Roddenberry responded "No, by the 24th century, no one will care." Could by apocryphal, I'm too lazy to check.

I wouldn't be too surprised if Roddenberry took this position in response to outside questions once the decision was made, but if so it's a bit ironic given that it's also been widely reported (including by Stewart) that Roddenberry was openly anti-Stewart during the casting process for not having the look he wanted, in part because of his baldness.

As a (somewhat insecure) Asian guy, I have to say that skull shape matters. Some of us tend to have flat back of heads, which is less than ideal in Western beauty standards.

In my younger years I had my head buzzed to a near monk length (I was pretty obsessed with Buddhism at the time) and it did not look right. Friends commented that I looked 'intense.' While perfect for the monk persona, I was going for the more badass tough guy look. It was a tough few months.

Also, facial hair helps a lot, which I am unable to grow.

So I look forward to hair plugs if I ever start going bald.

fwiw I dont think anyone you encounter on the street even notices skull shape, don't sweat it..

Well, that list implies you have a built body so that the baldness is not a factor. If you're average or worse, it's not going to play the same way.

a built body is an achievable target for most men

Oh dear. He does look better with hair. I'm sure it's nice to say "No one cares about your hairloss other than you". But I don't think any metric in society would back that up.

Being bald was good for the careers of The Rock and Bruce Willis, but that only holds if you're not a fit tough guy with the right head shape.

That's the problem with bald, the pretty much the only 'stereotypically attractive' archetype you have is fit muscular action man.

The only non-fit celeb I can really think of that might be known as attractive is Patrick Stewart in TNG, and I'm not sure if he was considered attractive vs. more respected role model and leader.

I wouldn't put Willis in the category as particularly muscular. He's usually cast at the every man. What he does is exude man in his on screen confidence.

I don’t know if Willis would have succeeded today. I can’t think of any similar “every man” casting today. Maybe the new Jurassic Park guy? But I would say he’s much better looking than Willis.

He is above average in fitness and muscularity, and he is an action hero actor, so it's pretty close!

I know a number of women who made comments about wanting to jump captain Picard's bones back in the day, but I think that was as much about his aura of intelligence and authority as his looks.

Elon Musk is a great example of what is possible with hair transplants. He had severe balding at a very young age, and you would never know it today. I have a feeling that public perception of him would be quite a bit different if he still looked like his old self. Here is a before and after...the “before” image was taken in 2002:

https://pagesix-com.cdn.ampproject.org/i/s/pagesix.com/wp-co...

Then there's Jeff who doesn't care.

There is a lot of stuff you don't have to care about when your a top ten wealthiest man in the world.

He does look tired and sickly on his younger picture, that doesn't help either.

Yeah Elon and Seth MacFarlane are touted as big examples. But basically every celebrity has had this done.

A lot of men get plastic surgery too.

Has it ever been not socially acceptable to shave your head as a male? I have a feeling the "shave it all off" has been a strategy ever since we've had razors sharp enough.

edit: a comment below mentions that it is unacceptable nowadays in some East Asian cultures.

It's definitely more socially acceptable now than it was in earlier times. Do you remember the bald guy episode from Seinfeld? While it was not shocking that the guy had a bald head, it was certainly unusual enough for Jerry to remark "Is he from the future?"

Only anecdotal, but my father always tells that the original skin heads when he was a young man were so transgressive as the hair cut was usually one of weakness. It was the cut of prisoners, insane asylum inmates, prisoners of war etc.

At the time it was in no way considered manly or even threatening. It was truly a statement that we likely can't imagine now.

But it rapidly became the haircut of the working class, especially factory workers. It's really nice to have very short hair in dirty, greasy environments.

I decided I liked a buzz-cut when I was in university. My mother's reaction when she saw it over a videocall was that I looked like a criminal.

My mom liked so-called "clean cut" guys (military background), so she made my brother and I buzz our hair growing up. Now my hair is now over a foot long and her reaction is that I also look like a criminal.

Heh, my father is a military man and growing up we always had our hair cut short. Several years ago I started growing my hair out and was ready for barrage of “hippie” jokes or whatever else would come with that.

Surprisingly it never happened. In fact my parents were really surprised. My youngest brother (nearly 20 year age difference) has a very curly head full of hair and it turns out mine also gets very curly/could with some length. Never new that was in our genetics.

The Islamic State forbade shaving one’s beard, but I don’t think they had similar rules for shaving one’s head. If they had, they must have made exceptions for pilgrims, as shaving one’s head after one is part of the rituals around (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ihram#Behaviour_and_cleanlines...)

As a tall, skinny white guy who also likes leather jackets, I fear if I shave my head I'll be lumped in with the neo nazi sympathisers.

So you think every skinny white guy who also likes leather jackets is a neo nazi sympathiser? Don't assume/worry what others think about your look

Your look is a message, it's something you chose and thus he should be aware of it.

"You can't fire me, I quit!"

in indian culture, one shaves the head when one is mourning, lost their dear ones (parents).

also, there is the practice of tonsuring one's head to offer the hair to the gods (as a sign of humility)

and, historically, losers have their heads tonsured to show their weakness, also a punishment for petty theft, like stealing cattle, etc

In the Indian culture, it was also expected for the Priestly caste to shave their heads (with the exception of the shikha. Side note: when Brahmins would mourn for the death of their parent, they wouldn't shave the shikha, it would instead be left open & unknotted) - there's a certain traditional cultural cache in India with shaved heads.

Wasn't common for white guys until relatively recently. It was a common hacky baldness joke in the 80s and 90s to say "if I was a black guy, I'd shave it all off!" Probably increased at around the same time as the hipster beard thing.

>has it ever been not socially acceptable to shave your head...?

Yes, if you took the Nazarite oath (think Samson in the Bible).

I dunno man, Patrick Stewart has always been mostly bald and is he any less attractive for it? It has the extra added benefit that you can't tell someone's age, so in his case he's been in his 40's throughout his career.

If I could look like Patrick Stewart or Sean Connery going bald would be great. Of course those guys look better than me even with hair so what can I expect.

You have to be attractive in the first place to be attractive when bald.

You have to be attractive in the first place. Bald, hair doesn't really matter. What's probably more significant is if people lose confidence or are self conscious about their baldness.

not everybody looks as him (or few other known bald celebrities), and not everybody has shape of the head or skin to look as good.

But I agree once baldness progresses to be plain visible, the best course is to either trim to very short or shave it all. Can look cool with good beard, but again not everybody has the genes for that.

"Go baldly where no one has gone before."

Patrick Stewart touched on the topic of going bald in an excerpt from an interview on the BBC (Parkinson) [1]. It's pretty funny.

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXOK-ZVJMaU

> but you can bet lots of people will be more attracted to someone who looks young with a full head of hair compared to someone who has typical male pattern baldness.

People are attracted to confidence. A person who has issues about self-image (baldness being one particular aspect of that) will always be less attractive from that angle alone.

If you're bald and feel self-conscious about it making you unattractive, the better road to attractiveness is to stop being self-conscious (easier said than done), rather than stopping being bald (even harder to do). This is basically what the OP is alluding to: the solution to the "baldness problem" isn't treatment, but rather acceptance.

There are plenty of females attracted to older males. The reverse is not nearly as true. There is a good genetic basis for this: young females that breed with an old male bring in whatever genetics cause long life. However old females are unable to breed at all so males that attempt to breed with older females fail and thus don't pass their genes on.

The above is really messy as it applies to the real world, but the basics are true enough.

> but you can bet lots of people will be more attracted to someone who looks young with a full head of hair compared to someone who has typical male pattern baldness

I think there are just as many people who are attracted to a guy with a shaved head.

I don't have personal experiences with it, but from observing a couple of friends who shave their head, it doesn't seem to me that they are less successful sexually/romantically.

What procedure did Elon Musk have? His hair looks great, but the hair he had at paypal was like cotton candy.

Follicle transplants, the hair loss treatment that works.

When he hooked up with Grimes it just kinda grew back..

Fortunately, becoming hot is easier that reverting baldness :)

Wigs are in and you can't really tell the difference. That being said male hair restoration is at minimum a billion dollar industry which tells you something, men are still successfully reproducing despite genetics that lead to male pattern baldness.

I think there are cultural (racial?) aspects too.

I'm East Asian. Hair loss at a young age and shaving your head is still not considered very acceptable or attractive in any way in East Asian cultures, short of being a monk. There are a tiny handful of exceptions - but that's just that - exceptions.

If you're pushing 50? 60? etc. sure it happens to many so not a big deal - but even then I think more East Asian men choose wigs, hair transplants, or even au natural horseshoe rather than shave. If you're 20? 30? Or even 40? It's terrible - dare I say more so than men of other races/cultures.

As someone in his thirties that is starting to lose hair, I envy men of other races/cultures where shaving your head is considered an acceptable option.

I never thought of this till you mentioned it, like, never. But you are right, I can't think of any high-visibility East Asian person with a bald head that isn't a monk. Xi Jianping, Mao, Psy, Jack Ma and pretty much every prominent East-Asian has hair. I guess with me coming from the black community, we've always had Michael Jordan, Isaac Hayes and Samuel L. Jackson as the standard-bearers of baldness.

Watanabe Ken, while not fully bald, has shaved a few times before for some of his roles. He also tends to sport really short hair.

https://www.google.com/search?q=watanabe+ken&client=safari&r...

Mao?

Whoops.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mao_Zedong#/media/File:Mao_Zed...

> “If it helps anyone else out there: no one else thinks about your hair besides you.”

I had a girl cancel a date when she learned I was balding (she explicitly told a friend this) so there’s a reason men feel bad about it.

That said, shaving your head and getting on with your life is the right approach and has a lot of other benefits anyway.

Elon did something different, but for most people going bald, shaving your head is the right move. It can just be hard to know when and most people wait too long (plus it’s hard to deal with the social stuff around a dramatic change like that).

> I had a girl cancel a date when she learned I was balding (she explicitly told a friend this) so there’s a reason men feel bad about it.

Dodged a bullet there!

Sure, in that specific case I’d agree it’s a flag.

But there’s a general truth to sexual attractiveness in there, and it’s better to accept the reality as it is and adapt.

Sometimes it's better to just learn the dance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX40mBb8bkU

Remember what the dormouse said: Shave your head (or something like that)

> there’s a general truth to sexual attractiveness in there

Even a cursory consideration of the numerous bald celebrities should be sufficient to disabuse yourself of this notion. There is no general truth to sexual attractiveness as related to hair, or height, or skin colour, or weight, or…

This is bad reasoning.

The existence of balding celebrities does not mean that balding has no affect on sexual attractiveness.

A lot of celebrities are famous for reasons other than attractiveness.

Balding and bald are also different (which was part of my point).

> "There is no general truth to sexual attractiveness as related to hair, or height, or skin colour, or weight, or…"

This is just straight false. There are always varied preferences and outliers, but there are general trends too. You ignore them at your own peril.

Gee, I wonder whether there's anything about celebrities that might make them more generally attractive than average balding dudes?

The general point is that confidence is more attractive than baldness or any of 100 other kinds of uncontrollable issues that impact physical appearance.

When you become comfortable and confident with who you are and recognize what you can't change, you attract the same.

I agree that confidence is important.

The other stuff does matter too though. It’s better to recognize that rather than pretend it’s all confidence.

The girl that canceled the date didn’t do so because I wasn’t confident, she did so because she saw a picture of me with thinning hair on FB. Another canceled when she found out I was 3 months younger than her. People are picky.

Thankfully I've since met someone really great and I'm now engaged/out of the game. I'm glad.

Yup. There are no bad reasons to not pursue a relationship, because anything that avoids heartache and misery is implicitly a good reason.

Well done, 47.

My dad went bald very early and I was always afraid of it. I've had the typical progression of male pattern baldness going for the last 20 years. I'd look really weird in my 40's if I had the same hairline as my 20 year old self. Over the years I've gotten used to it and consider it not a big deal.

On the other hand, now that my dad is in his late 70's he has melanoma all over his chrome dome. He has to get things burned, frozen, and lasered off every couple of months. It's ironic that after accepting the vanity aspects of baldness and no longer caring, I see that there are much worse things.

If you're bald or balding, wear a hat! Wear sunscreen! The spray on stuff is sort of gross but it can get to your scalp where the hair is thin and skin is exposed.

If a stem cell treatment for baldness were affordable, I would consider it. 80% for the UV protection and 20% for the vanity.

Going off topic, but that's one of the reasons I really appreciate moving to Berlin (UV index from 2 to 5) from Tel Aviv (UV index 3 to 11). I haven't burned even once since leaving Israel in 2005.

Latitude matters! I grew up outside of Atlanta, which is 33N and similar to Tel Aviv at 32N. My dad's Irish skin probably faired much worse here than it would have at 53N (Ireland, Berlin).

I don't burn too easily in the sun here and it's easy to avoid in prolonged exposure with a little sunscreen. I was shocked the first time I ventured close to the equator. In southern Mexico (15N) and Costa Rica (10N) my skin burns in about 10 minutes without sunscreen.

When I was in my early 20s, I saw the writing on the wall w.r.t hair loss. I decided then, if I'm going to be bald, I'm at least going to be jacked. And so I got jacked.

10+ years later, I buzz my head with a 1 guard once every week or so. Hair is just a thing I don't think about. It's like `gofmt` or `prettier` for your head.

Same here, except I use a #2. Nearly every guy can control his build and when you are younger, you are a testosterone-fueled muscle building machine. Young men (and women, to be honest) reading this: take advantage of it.

> no one else thinks about your hair besides you

To expand on that, my favorite quote (from Eleanor Roosevelt, who seems to have been quite quotable...):

"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."

I totally agree. People are almost 100% caught up in themselves, and barely have time to think about their own family, much less friends, acquaintances, and last of all strangers.

This reminds me of Casablanca:

  Ugarte:  You despise me, don't you?
  Rick:    If I gave you any thought I probably would.

Mad Men

Ginsberg: I feel bad for you.

Draper: I don’t think about you at all.

Well of course they don’t actively worry about your hair, but most certainly it’s one of the factors on whether people find you attractive or not. And that can still have real consequences even if people aren’t “worried about you.”

And the issue of whether people generally care misses the point. A man wants her to find him attractive.

Beauty is well researched & documented to affect one's social standing, how much people trust you, career success, mate/family success, and many other factors.

Adding my anecdote to this thread:

Started noticing hair loss in my early 20s but managed to convince myself that it was just stress. By my mid 20s when I was in a very low stress position I finally concluded that it was just plain MPB. I continued to ignore it for a while, just cutting my hair a little shorter than the longer hair that I wore before (usually more out of laziness than anything else). It finally came to a head a couple of months ago when I noticed that I had stopped turning the lights on when I went into the bathroom because I didn't want to see how thin my hair looked that day. That day I made an appointment with my doctor and got a prescription for Finasteride. Since I was very afraid of the sexual side effects of the drug, before I started I decided to shave my head to confirm my suspicions that I didn't like the shaved look. If I hated it, I'd start the medication and deal with the sides. Funny thing is, I really liked it. People don't treat me any differently than they did before which is what I was afraid of. Sure, women don't come up and hit on me but they never did when I had longer hair either so I consider it a wash. And I like it more and more now that I'm hitting the gym and adding muscle. Bald + muscular is a great look. Shaving my head (down to a #1 in my case) isn't my ideal situation but the way I see it, MPB is a better condition to have than many, many other genetic conditions.

If you're where I was a couple of months ago and your thinning hair is stressing you out, just give it a shot and shave your head. Best case, you like it like I do. Worst case, you hate it and you can see if fin would work for you.

I think this is very wrong, and almost irresponsible.

Without your hair, you will earn less money. Fewer people will do business with you (fewer investors, fewer contracts, fewer business partners). You will be paid less as an employee for the same work. You will be passed over for leadership positions.

Fewer people will be friends with you. People will want to spend less time with you. You will not be invited to the same or as many parties as other people. Strangers on the street will look at you with pity and disgust. Children will shame you.

No matter how inherently talented, intelligent, and hard-working you are, this will seep into every aspect of your life and rob you of success. It is a crippling disfigurement.

And so, there are entire sections of the female population that won't touch you with a ten foot pole. Considering how painfully this impacts a persons life, they are right to do so. It is a travesty of evolution that male-pattern baldness exists.

There currently isn't a way to re-grow lost hair. You have to do everything you can to keep what you have. The medication you mention, finasteride, might have sexual side effects, but for most people it doesn't. It's almost irrelevant if it does, because you won't have much of a sex life if you lose your hair. I wish I could have afforded it when I was young. If you can, go see a doctor at the first sign of hair loss. It's all you can do.

If I hadn't lost my hair in my early twenties, I know that I would have been able to find romantic love, and have a better career. It is the single worst thing that has ever happened to me, and not a day goes by that I don't consider killing myself. It has made me less than human.

You sound really upset. I don’t blame you. I started going bald in my 20s. It was heartbreaking to cut off my long hair. I truly loved it and felt strongly that it was part of my identity. The alternative, I thought, was ridiculous — a bald man with a pony tail.

Now I’m nearly 50, and if I could grow my hair back, I wouldn’t. I’ve been shaving with a trimmer once a week for 15 years now, and I adore it. It’s quick and easy. My hair is predictable and zero-maintenance. I think I still look pretty cool.

Professionally I’ve never felt the lack. When I leave one company I quickly have offers piling up for new gigs. I have a family now, but (back when it was ok to be out in public) women still hit on me.

Consider that no matter what your qualities, some people and contexts will ostracize you for them. You must instead find places and people that are acceptable to you, and accepting of you. There’s no magic here, just work and perseverance.

There are plenty of worse situations: being Black is still no picnic in the US, and plenty of other places. Being a woman is still very challenging in many places. Being poor (like, too poor to own a computer) is still the worst.

If you’ll forgive me for being blunt: if going bald is really the worst thing that’s happened to you, consider yourself to be very, very fortunate. There’s no reason to be suicidal about it. Find a therapist. Only you can improve your life, hair or no hair.

While baldness definitely has a negative impact on most men life, it's merely a factor among many other things that can actually be controlled, and it's not life shattering on its own.

If that's actually how you feel, it's pretty serious and I urge you to try and search for help in your environment : life does not have to be this bad, and it can get better.

This is the most absurdly ludicrous thing I have ever read, and I am not exaggerating for effect. I honestly cannot tell if this is a bad joke or sarcasm, because I can hardly imagine a human being who could believe such nonsense. If you experience any of this nonsense first hand it is because you believe it to be true and have created a self fulfilling prophecy. You need to change your perspective. Go see a therapist and work out your issues.

I suggest reading some Gabor Mate and work on resolving unresolved childhood trauma (the only thing I imagine to be strong enough to create such self-limiting beliefs - assuming of course your post is not just a failed attempt as sarcasm).

you sir, should get checked out. thoroughly

I still remember the day I saw a quote on Twitter from an account that I think was called something like @PicardQuotes. Their tweets were usually little gems that could have been said by Capt. Picard. This particular quote was simply:

"Bald is better than balding."

When I realised there was no turning back, and not having hair would be a lot better than fighting against the inevitable, I started wearing my bare scalp with pride.

It's a great look.

It's also a lot easier to maintain.

Don't get me wrong, if I weren't balding I wouldn't have done this and that would have been fine. That doesn't change the fact that this is also fine.

I love the way I look bald, but I don't have the wherewithall to keep my skin smooth. It's so much more work than just keeping a decent haircut.

How is it easier to maintain? If you want to be fully bald and look good you have to shave every day or every few days. For the balding "look" you don't have anything to do at all.

Sorry, I meant it's easier to maintain than hair.

Bald takes me 10-15 minutes at home a few days a week. It becomes part of the routine and doesn't add much to it.

Having hair means daily washing/conditioning (depending on hair type and daily activities of course), combing/brushing, perhaps some styling in the morning and possibly during the day depending on how you like to look, there's not being able to shower just before sleep unless you like to sleep on a puddle and a rotten pillow, etc.

On top of that, there's the periodic going to salon, getting hair cut, coming back home, and relearning how to style new hair since it's going to be slightly different than it was early that day.

Balding also takes a lot of the above, if not all. Unless you like the mullet look with nothing at the top, which I personally don't.

Bald is a lot easier for me. As always, YMMV.

My maths teacher once joked that he finds it difficult every morning to wash his face as he don't know where his face starts and ends :D

His specialty must be topology. :)

There are so many good bald looks these days. Even just shaving your entire dome looks pretty awesome.

I’ve never had a “hah that guy’s bald” moment. But I’ve had many, “damn, kinda jealous of that style...” moments.

As a guy who's been shaving my head since I realized my hair wasn't getting any thicker when I was ~20 (13 years ago), I'm curious what other "bald looks" there are besides shaving the whole thing?

There's the Jason Statham look where he doesn't shave it all and blends it into his beard and it looks great.

But, yeah, I didn't word that well. Most good bald looks involve what you do with your facial hair.

Muscles underneath. Lots, of muscles.

The correct haircut for a bald man is muscles.

The correct haircut for any man is muscles.

This. Muscle plus personality is 100x more attractive than hair. 2 things you can control (generally)

Yeah, that's pretty much it. Tattoos also, as that complements the look.

Nah, it's 1) age and 2) height - none of which you can control.

> Even just shaving your entire dome looks pretty awesome.

It's the one and only look. That's what I miss the most about no longer having hairs, options.

> Plus, it has made putting on sweaters so much easier, and I never have to worry about helmet hair.

I had a shaved head for a while, and the freedom of not having strands of really strong thin material attached to the top of your head was amazing. It is comparable to not having to wear a backpack.

I went back to normal hair to enjoy it while it lasts though.

+1, it can’t be said enough.

Worrying about losing your hair is a significantly worse condition than actually losing your hair. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

I am a guy from a family whose members die of old age with a lion's mane of a hair. So far (being 42) I am on the same path.

But greying of said lion's mane can happen in several ways, from very charming to something that looks like a mildew infestation.

I am not sure yet how I am going to turn out, but it is coming. I hope the Japanese scientists can find some stem cells for melanocytes as well.

Edit: a funny anecdote, my first high school love is very much into bald guys, but somehow I got a pass.

Close to 60 here and I am in the same boat. I was so happy when my hair (on the sides) turned a little grey! I felt I deserved these with my age :)

Still got a shit ton of hair on my head but at least it does not look like 20 anymore.

A good friend of mine did what Joe Rogan did: just shave it all off.

The funny thing is that they both said the same thing: "I was so worried about how my thinning hair looked that I just decided to shave my head, and havent looked back since"

And its funny they both look great completely bald - in fact with Joe Rogan, he looks odd to see old pics of him with hair.

I dont know if I could pull off a full bald shave because I have a small head and big ears :-)

When I started losing my hair I tried minoxidil, until I realized two things:

1) it's not very effective;

2) it is highly, highly toxic to cats.

I didn't have a cat at the time, but I decided that the ability to have a cat in my life was more important than any hair loss amelioration provided by minoxidil, and if I went bald then I went bald.

I started going gray in my mid 20's, and I made a similar choice. I just accepted that this is how its gonna be, and came to terms with it, not that I dont go out of my way to minimize it now that I'm in my late 30's thru hair cuts. But I dont bother with dye or any of that.

I went gray young. The downside is that most younger women turned away and would no longer approach. They would also not respond very well if I did. And I did not want to date a person 15 years my senior, so it became hard.

Was shaving my head the best decision? Of course. I still had some hair in front and a lots on the sides. But top of my head is almost bald and my hair is quite thin. So I would always have bad hair and would fix it in the bathroom constantly. Wearing hat was a problem. Going on a holiday to tropical country - bad hair every day. I shaved that thing after returning from 4 weeks in Indonesia. I just had enough of it. A lot of women complimented my looks. My wife got used to it I think. But if there was a way of making my hair the way it was when I was young without side effects and transplants? I would probably try it. But until that day comes, I am shaving my head and don't care about anybody.

Lots of people have anxiety about their head shape. I know I do. I'm not looking forward to the time when I have to buzz cut my hair. There is definitely a lot of flatness on the back of my head.

I agree. My dad and his brothers were all bald fairly young, so I accepted that it would happen. I didn't really start losing my hair until my 30s, and for me at least, I just buzzed cut my hair and went on with my life. My wife, who I met after it was clear my hair was never coming back, asked me if I missed my hair. I pulled out some old pics of my late teens/20s where it was all the same length past my shoulders and her response was 'thank god you went bald'...

Can confirm, shave your head no one cares, girls dig it if they dig you just like everything else. Just get used to wearing hats or carrying sunscreen lol.

yes same. I accepted it and moved on in my 30s. Now i like my buzzed look, i think i look better than ever.

I think bladness needs an equivalent of 'fat acceptance'. When somone is in their 20's. Its hard to accept your lower value as a potential mate for something that's totally out of their control.

There's a Youtube Channel called Bald Cafe where men are interviewed about their hair loss, and they shave their heads.

https://www.youtube.com/c/Baldcafe/videos

It's easy to see that for some people it's a big deal, and it's a bit tricky for them to come to terms with. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfxZvMydPYQ

> and they shave their heads.

I think this a harmful trend too. Ironically, Pepetuates the same concept that something natural like balding is something to hide.

Being bald without completely shaven look is a ok, normal and attractive too.

Not shaving your head unfortunately puts you in the familiar camp of men who basically deny their balding and can't roll with the punch.

Just get rid of it.

How? I don't want to shave my head every weekend. I shave every 1 month or so. Towards the end i have the classic bald man look. How is that 'denying my balding' ? bald look doesnt bother me. So why the perception that i have some physiological issues re my balding if i don't shave on a regular basis.

> > and they shave their heads.

> I think this a harmful trend too

But you shave your head!!

yea and?

I shave because i don't know how to give myself a proper haircut by myself. Shaving is much easier, takes me about 15 minutes.

Not quite sure what point you are trying to make.

Controlling your weight is in your control. Going bald isn't (at least not in the same side effect-free way that controlling your weight is).

> If it helps anyone else out there: no one else thinks about your hair besides you.

People notice and care. Hair is sometimes seen as a health indicator and it matters to a degree in society. We've never had a bald president and probably never will. Look at the lengths Trump went to with his "hair". I doubt he would have been president had he been bald. The same goes for biden. Search for elon musk before and after hair. He wouldn't be the "media darling" if he looked the way he did in his paypal days.

Also, it's probably easier dating or finding a mate if you were not bald - as a man or a woman. Consciously or unconsciously, many people hold negative associations when it comes to baldness. But it's not the end of the world and you shouldn't lose any sleep over it - unless you hope to be president one day or in a position where image matters. For the average joe, baldness doesn't matter much.

Eisenhower was pretty bald.

I vaguely knew a dude who got bald at 20. Beside the slightly strange feeling in the early days it really never made a difference in how we were with him. But he was a cool guy so that helped.

I knew a guy who was losing his hair in high school. He always had girls around.

Well, I started balding at 14. Started medications at 15 that stopped working at 19 (not that they ever "really" worked). My adolescence was pure hell and today I almost cry everytime I see myself in the mirror. So there's your counter-anecdote.

Everyone has a budget.

Yep. Fit and bald is far more attractive than a nice head of hair and schlubby. And by far the most important thing is to be happy with one's self, not based on external things.

If it comforts anyone, Prince William went through the same anxiety and realized he was best served embracing the characteristic. I think that’s the best approach.

Unfortunately you have Hollywood and other lifestyle influence setting the tone for men and women. Sometimes in the guise of helping, they hurt people “accept being obese” for example.

One of my female roommates had a thing for chrome. I don't think she's the only female to have that interest. Shave it all off and rock it. :)

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