You should seek a really good therapist, you're far too young to be 'over it' already.
You can live an authentic life, you just don't know how because 1, you're a kid with zero wisdom and 2, you don't yet know what is important (related to point 1).
You can live an authentic life, you just don't know how because 1, you're a kid with zero wisdom and 2, you don't yet know what is important (related to point 1).
I found that reading philosophy helps, even just a little bit. The absurdists figured it out I think. Absurdism also helps with coping with the belief in determinism I guess, but I am still in conflict.
I guess I lost that curiosity during the last parts of my thesis and covid lockdowns last year. The thesis and the internship after beat the curiosity out of me simply because doing *good* research was neigh impossible with my limited resources. I remember desperately trying to make progress but when everything takes ages to complete, it is easy to lose interest, and deadlines make everything harder.
I tried to get back to that state of mind, but it can be quite difficult at times.