How would you prefer that kind of "arbitrary planning" be addressed though?
I don't have any luck with my FOSS projects but I am SUPER grateful for that because I just don't have the time to sit and work on them after I've done the job I have to pay the bills I also have.
Any advice for someone like me?
That's the 1 line summary of doing volunteer work.
If you want to enjoy working on FOSS, choose to solve a problem that lots of users need solved, the more mundane the better, then make your whole backlog focused on what the user tells you.
FOSS needs product / market (of attention) fit like anything else. Unless you are your own user for a real use case, you need other real users to be the sole driver.
But the only reward with volunteer work in FOSS is the fun you get out of it. That's your compensation. So if you don't like what you are doing, stop doing it. Don't try to mainly please others, unless that's what gives you pleasure.