On your note [1] - could you explain more about using a 3rd party? I currently use auto-withdrawals, but it sounds like I should switch before I get in a bad situation like you mentioned.
As for 3rd parties, most landlords I've had since use services like ClickPay and AppFolio (there are probably dozens, but those are two I've had the option of using with past landlords). They have automatic payment options, but they won't charge payments without your approval.