Is there anything in particular about the project that's frustrating/time-consuming? Or just the whole thing altogether?
Projecting a bit here, but your dilemma seems to resonate really well with this essay, especially when you mentioned "indulging in the fantasy": https://www.trevormckendrick.com/essays/future-you-masturbat...
Pains me to hear it makes you dislike yourself, means next to nothing from a stranger online, but you're obviously smart, passionate, and care about your (potential) users' experiences, which is pretty admirable by itself. We see so many stories here of epic devs/biz persons moving mountains and executing their visions, but I'd be surprised if the large majority of them didn't go through a rut like what you currently are facing at least once.