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But men didn't have a choice either, they had to do physically much more demanding and dangerous jobs. Women entered the workforce when we had comfortable office jobs around not when your granddad was plowing with an ox. And it still is that way nowadays, SV men don't experience it but men in general do the shitty a dangerous jobs and die doing it at astonishing rate compared to women.

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This is a good point and often ignored.

Also something I was thinking about lately: in every other human endeavour there has been increasing specialisation and humanity has benefited from greater productivity. Why is domestic duties (cooking, cleaning, looking after kids) something where we cannot have specialisation? I don't really care if the man or woman does it but would we not benefit from one partner doing most of it efficiently rather than both doing it badly in between stressful jobs?

Afaik reports found families with clear division of labor to be more happy. Of course that doesn't mean people should be forced to do it that way. It's just a data point.

For various reasons, many families don't even have the choice anymore. They need both parents to work fulltime to make ends meet.

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