Heh, that sounds like how I manage to hold down a job with ADHD, except my "up days" are because I took stimulants.

If I knew in college what I know now, I would have 100% had all the paperwork to be considered "disabled" by the government. I tried to do the right thing and emulate a successful adult life, but it's been a pretty miserable experience so far.

At this point, after so many years in tech, there's no way I could convince the government that they should cover my health care and pay me a stipend because I'm so disabled that I can't work.

There's not much else to do at this point besides push through to retirement, one day at a time.