I would say that you got unlucky so far, everybody struggles with something at some point in time, the kind of people worth keeping near know and respect that.
Like I said, I went into it with my eyes open. I didn't expect anyone to give me a cookie or anything. It's just that the generalized hostility was unexpected.
(Or at least, an infinitesimally small number that are not already in a long term healthy relationship. It may be that we've just missed the opportunity to meet the high quality people in our earlier years.)
I've had my share of relationships, and still date from time to time, but usually I find the experience disappointing.
The answers you seek you will not find in Hacker News, I will not link to anything I do hope you encounter the solutions to your problems, as I did once myself after struggling with dating, some time ago.